#because eating is unironically very important to me

[lumpy-veev]

haHA... funny you say that!

reblog this w the entity/entities you most align yourself with & why

[calliopeslyrics]

watching the Percy Jackson show makes me so emotional and nostalgic on a whole other level. It’s almost as if I’m recounting my own childhood memories but the way everything is handled with love and care for the material, the way the trio is so young and small and yet the gods see them as nothing but their own personal problem solvers whenever it’s convenient (looking at you, Poseidon) makes me tear up unironically because I never would’ve imagined seeing the books come to life with such precision that the pjo brainrot returned.

Like I cannot imagine being 12 and having to go across the country within a week to stop some family drama that could result in another war among gods and mortals. Where monsters and gods alike are trying to kill you because of your parentage when you don’t even know what your father looked like.

I remember reading Percy Jackson in middle school and loving the fact that he was my age and with every book, I grew up with him. I remember talking to my friends about the latest chapter we had read during recess and we would write about our own little demigod adventures. We would read those imagines about percabeth on instagram and conspire about how our music teacher was probably a monster like Mrs. Dodds because of how mean he was. My friend was a daughter of Poseidon and I was a daughter of apollo and we absolutely freaked out when trials of apollo first came out because of the little cameo Percy made in one of the chapters.

And now that I’m older than walker, leah and aryan and I’m seeing their characters go through all these challenges against gods and monsters and even their own extended family at CHB, I’m like omg they’re literal children. They did not have to go through all of this trauma year after year, fighting for their parent’s attention and approval.

At the end of the day, all the demigods are just kids with major mommy and/or daddy issues trying to be claimed by the very godly parent that left without a trace before they were even born. They can’t live in the mortal world without having to fight for their lives and they’re practically stuck at camp if they’re not claimed by a particularly strong or important god to even go on quests. Middle school me did not understand the layers of lore and significance of Percy’s unwavering loyalty to his mother and his friends that have fought alongside him countless times in a world where it’s eat or be eaten.

anyway I’m feeling completely normal about the series :)

[skipppppy]

Okay so I saw your post about the OC that’s the divorcee of Chase and I’m unironically hooked now. Do you have anything else on him. Who is the first person to mention Chase and were they dared 20$ to do it. Do they even get the chance.

Is Rana just chilling right outside of where they’re hiding the jet and Chase comes sprinting in trying to find where Zack ran off before skidding to a stop upon seeing Oh My God It’s My Ex just chilling there w a cigarette very un-suspiciously outside a warehouse. Does Rana have to grit his teeth and actually try to keep Chase occupied while the idiot children/barely legal adults skedaddle into the jet behind him.

Would he get along with Julia or not give a rats ass. Does Shadowsan tolerate him. How many flight laws has he broken. I’m sorry to bombard you it’s late and I’m on nyquil rn but he’s so. I’m interested my good sir

EHEHEHE the cult of Rana expands…I’ve been wanting to do stuff for CS OC week but I’ve been in France this week doing other important stuff (getting drunk with animators and eating croissants). But I did a lil sketch during some down time that I hope you enjoy

In answer to your questions:

Shadowsan was technically the first person to mention Chase to him because he was present when they reunited for the first time. After that it was Zack doing a “hey that guy kinda looks like your ex” social blunder and promptly got whalloped for it

I’m actually writing a tiny lil fic about his and Chase’s reunion in my own time. Snippet below. Pls excuse bad writing skills

He doesn’t mind Julia but unfortunately her presence as Chase’s work partner is just too easy not to use as collateral. Very much a “so this is who you replace me with” situation. She likes him for the drama he brings

He and Shadowsan are romantically involved and it is not healthy or a good time for either of them. Rana was never his first husband’s priority so he refuses to get attached to a man that’s already devoted to his daughter. But that doesn’t stop them hooking up when he goes on solo missions and they’re both catching feelings and refusing to admit it out of pride. Avoidant attachment girlies unite

He has broken so many flight laws. All of them. He is considering breaking ground laws and committing first degree murder

Please keeo bombarding me with Rana asks they FUEL ME

[mathlann]

🩷🖤🩶 for blorbo of your choice? 👀

From this ask game. I'll actually be nice and answer for Heinrix on this one. Prepare for a long one on the first answer, lol.

🩷 Why are they your favorite?

Heinrix is unironically one of my favorite companions in Rogue Trader. Because he's terrible. But he doesn't want to be. But he's also too much of a dogmatic Company Man to really understand how awful he is/can be. He's a walking HR violation anytime a Xenos is within three star systems. He's the loneliest motherfucker on this ship. I will divorce this clown in every lifetime, that is how much I love him.

First of all, his internalized everything makes him just, so crunchy. Like, he came from some of the highest nobility in the Imperium (Tech Edition) to rock bottom, to two shakes from regaining his "place" per se (Space CIA Edition). And some part of him knows that Calcazar is the only person keeping him between here, as a "somebody" and the abyss of being just another tool-psyker. And the way his journey to discovering the Truth is also the process of systemically dismantling his own sense of importance as part of Calcazar's inner circle.... Like yeah, he was the potential successor, didn't make him less of a disposable pawn as the rest of them! So what was it all for?

And I think too how his hidden Iconoclast core shakes out is also really interesting because "Iconoclast" doesn't 1:1 mean "good person". Like he can and does show leniency in his Dogmatism with people of similar rank/protection as him (the RT, Jae) or people he can personally sympathize with (Idira, even tho it's insulting). And his romance is genuinely sweet, if bumpy. But at the same time he has a lot of anger in his heart and that gets expressed in ways that show some incredibly unnecessary cruelty to people he thinks are lesser (Vhaebos Prisoners, Yrliet, that one random guard). And he does not acknowledge that!!! Because he's a Space Racism Cop doing his job, which gives him a "get out of examining my issues free" card and Throne take him, he's gonna use it.

And on that latter bit, the other thing I really really love about Heinrix is how much a demonstrates how much the Inquisition really doesn't work as an institution? He's an acolyte of the Ordo Xenos, and his Xenos Lore is shit, which you'd think wouldn't be the case but, look at how he interacts with nominally friendly xenos like Yrliet. You go to Commorragh and he's like "idk...we gotta maybe use their politics against them" and then kicks up a holy fuss when you do that. He approves of busting Tervantias in that gate and later feeding Marazhai (your ally) to the daemon. Like okay, the Xenos are vanquished, Heinrix is the best boy. Don't worry about the multiple 5 star meals Slaanesh is eating because of it...that's not his department anyways. (Ordo Malleus Hates Him!)

He's just a special boy to me lol.

🖤 If they weren't from their source, what fandom universe do you think they would make the most sense in?

Heinrix could very much be A Guy in Dragon age. And I don't mean in the "he's like Cullen!" way, because he's not, at all, but in the sense that he would very much be a loyalist circle mage who's very invested in the Institution of the Chantry while still being tempted to break a few rules here or there (just him tho) y'know?

🩶 Alternatively, what fandom universe would they just perish in?

Saint's Row (or GTA, but I don't play those games). He's a cop at heart, the stress would wear him down even if he won't snitch immediately.

[gio-goose]

Can you give me a few art tips i want to be able to draw sin kiske too

I am not the greatest at explaining things or giving advice. These tips are just what many artists have already said and points that *I* personally agree with or have helped *me*. The reason why I am putting emphasis on myself is because everyone is different so what helps *me* might not help you. These things you will have to figure out yourself, BUT there are many MANY art tutorials from different artists with different styles so maybe you can find something there! Anyways moving on-

Don‘t think too much and just DOODLE DOODLE AND MORE DOODLING

I am serious, turn that brain off and start doodling. I had this mental barrier for sometime (that I am still struggling with) where I just didn‘t feel confident in my art and didn‘t even wanna START drawing, bc I felt like everything sucked ass. But just turning that brain off and mindlessly doodling is so SO great because it doesn‘t have to be perfect or anything AND through the repeating motions of sketching you‘re training your hand to become better at making nice smooth strokes. Sketching mindlessly is honestly very theraputic for me, cuz I just get to have silly fun. There‘s no pressure in doing things. AND sometimes doodling mindlessly can lead to great ideas.

Tracing/Referencing

Ik there‘s lots of discourse about tracing and referencing in the art community, but I can only tell you that this has been extremely helpful for me and getting my anatomy right. While tracing helps getting the placements of body parts and lines right, referencing really helps train your eyes what to look for. You‘ll start to recognize familiar shapes that are prevalent in almost all body types or certain things that are almost always there in nature. Tracing can also help you get more familiar in the way that you draw certain things. These techniques are all about familiarizing yourself with whatever you‘re trying to draw (bodies, faces, landscapes etc) and engraving it into your mind. Ofc if you decide to post something where you traced or referenced something it‘s always good to show your sources, but this is mostly something to do in private.

Take breaks, treat yourself with something nice :)

Art can be tiring, so be sure to always ALWAYS take breaks when you feel like its about to get frustrating and maybe eat something, do something else to replenish that art juice, yeah? Breaks can last however long you want. Whats most important is that you won‘t start hating the process cuz this shit can be mentally taxing so breaks are super important. Even if the break takes a year or something, art can always wait and its not like you‘ll immediately forget all your skills that you have gained yk? Maybe you‘ll get rusty but muscle memory is one hell of a thing. You‘ll get the hang of it in no time!

Get shiggy wiggy with it

What I mean by this is to just have fun. Art is supposed to be enjoyable, so I say go crazy, go stupid with it. Like who gives a shit if its stupid or cringe? Just have fun! Don‘t let someone ruin the fun in art for you, okay? These people stink anyway smh my head… they just don‘t understand the joy of creating a beautiful art piece about ur favourite charaters doing dumb shit or kissing each other. (Just uh… don‘t get illegal with it)

Get obsessed with something. I am very serious about this

Unironically, getting obsessed with a character or franchise has helped me a lot to keep being motivated to draw. Like a character that just makes you so so happy that you just keep drawing them (I mean, look at me 💀), which goes back to the first point. Being obsessed with something can keep you drawing something for a long time. And it gives you a big ass serotonin boost. However-

Try something new!

Drawing the same thing over and over again is great, but it can get stagnant really quick. So sometimes you have to try something new, stuff that might be difficult or things you aren‘t really confident yet (like hands. Yeah I know, its a nightmare). Doing this will make your skillset much bigger and may deepen your understanding on how stuff works cuz this art stuff is really interconected. Like, if you know one thing then maybe you can also do the other.

Take it slow. Be easy on yourself

There is ALWAYS this constant need to improve. Especially on social media, where artists are expected to improve in lightning speeds or post the perfect art pieces (and tbh some of these might be self imposed too). But you really, you don‘t. Just enjoy it at your own pace, be proud of the stuff you made. Save it, keep it and look back on it to see how much you‘ve improved. Don‘t view art as something you need to be perfect at, but just as something that makes you happy. An outlet for your feelings. Something to do when you‘re bored. Or stuff like that, cuz it‘s really not that serious UNLESS you want it to be like a job or something. So be patient, because art is a marathon, not a sprint. There is no need to hurry.

Aannddd if you wanna be able to draw Sin specifically then channel your inner whimsical creature, become jolly, be silly and get shiggy wiggy with it :)))

[pendwelling]

I feel like ced n chris when watching the OG! Ced n Chris 😭😭 them throwing up just at the thought of marrying each other is hilarious, and I like our worldline version the best 😂

I UNIRONICALLY REALLY SUPPORT THEIR (FUTURE) MARRIAGE ACTUALLY LMFAO

LIKE HEAR ME OUT I could actually make a whole essay about this but when you think about it, Cédric marrying Christelle (or at the very least, taking her as his Political Partner and the marriage is a mere formality) is the course of action that just makes sense.

There is no other noble lady in the entire Empire that would match Cédric the way Christelle does. For one, they understand each other in that way that only Holy Knights do, with their primal cravings for ether, the yearning that comes with it for the rest of their lives, until their soul feels settled. As the only Holy Knights that originate from the Empire, only Christelle could understand Cédric pain, desires and loneliness as a Holy Knight (and she even admits it herself in Chapter 113, where she also describes the Holy Knights' yearning for ether as being thirsty even after drinking, and still being hungry even after eating).

It helps that they've also grown to respect each other. While they may squabble and antagonize each other, being rivals and sparring partners has made them build up trust and respect. They both know the other is strong and that they can be relied on during battle. They have immense respect for each other and even find joy in sparring people with similar strengths (unlike poor Eli whose clothes keep getting burnt 😭😂)

And according to the unofficial "Characters I'd hate to marry the most" poll conducted by fans on twitter/postype, it's easily understood that a political marriage with Cédric would be good in the way that he'd undoubtedly respect his spouse, but with his emotional range, it would be hard to bond with him any further than the respect one would have towards their spouse 💀 But Christelle is one of the only two people that has seen Cédric cry (with the other being Yeseo, naturally) and has even comforted him with heart-wrenching words because Christelle is DAMN GOOD with anything emotional. She understands his pain, and has seen him vulnerable with his consent, and they've had honest to god amazing heart-to-hearts. In Chapter 602, he finally opens up to both Yeseo and Christelle about his past and due to numerous reasons, Yeseo is unable to say anything to try and comfort him, but Christelle, our Ham Ga-in, being the mature person who has lived a difficult life, was able to say the words that Yeseo couldn't with her far outlook on life. Her emotional intelligence and care for her friends are something I will always praise and admire her for, she has such an amazing way with words, and that's something I know Cédric appreciates.

It's hilarious to think about how much Cédric and Christelle 'hate' each other, but we all know deep down that they share a very good relationship, even if it's in no way romantic LMFAO. While they did initially have natural adverse reactions due to opposing ether attributes, after [CERTAIN EVENTS] they now p much have this special ether bond due to the exchange their plates went through (or in Yeseo's words, a telepathic relationship akin to being in a covenant LMFAO)

These two have gone through so much together. We ofc can't forget Christelle risking her own life to help Cédric's berserk ether following the events of 301 :')))) The two of them have a complicated but deep relationship as a result of their association with each other and first and foremost they are FRIENDS (even if theyd deny it)

After they formed a covenant-like bond, I think it's safe to say that, if Yeseo is to become Cédric's Religious Partner, Christelle is the best and only fitting candidate for his Political Partner. Cédric would marry anyone due to it being his duty and has even expressed that what he thought of marriage wasn't really that important (254) but I think it's fair to say that, if he were to marry some random noble, Ced wouldn't be able to open himself up in the same way he does with Chris and Yeseo.

Cédric having Yeseo and Christelle as his partners is the most natural course of action that they'd take in the future. We still don't know whether or not Yeseo will stay in that universe (i personally believe they'll find a way for him to freely travel between worlds), but Cédric and Christelle marrying just. it feels natural and makes sense, if you think about it.

Christelle at (the physical) age of 19 had already accomplished AMAZING and numerous feats with the navy during the Riester/Venetiaan war, and Empress Frédérique herself has said (ch344) that her merit and hard work will be recorded and praised by historians for a long time. She will receive a title and honour (and from what we've seen of the future, Chris gets MULTIPLE medals that mark her achievements), and such a person will definitely be welcomed as Riester's Empress. The people will rejoice to have her by their beloved Imperial Prince's side, and I know for a fact that they would be one heck of a power duo.

I don't usually ship CedChris romantically (with exceptions for CedYesChris), but I know that a marriage between those two would very much be like their friendship as it is, just with rings and crowns. Christelle can tolerate Ced's personality and she's also plenty emotionally apt to make up for his lack xDD Cédric will also be able to enjoy companionship with someone who already knows him emotionally deep down, with pre-established bonds. Politically, it's a great arrangement, and even if they don't develop romantic feelings with each other, they have a special relationship based on trust, understanding and acknowledgement (also if Yeseo becomes Pope and has to live at the Temple of Boundaries/or goes home, they can further bond over their eternal pining for him LMFAOO)

The Religious/Political Partner arrangement is literally just a threeway polycule, it's so damn queerplatonic and I love CedYesChris so much I hope they get to rule Riester together :')

[meowizard]

Princess found Squid Ink and she just stared into those big eyes and the autism link immediately activated. She carries them around not caring one bit that she's being covered in ink. She will be stained for so long but those big eyes are CRYING SO MANY TEARS IT MATTERS MORE!!!! (This happens every other day)

Whenever she's out walking with them they're always ready to spit an inkball at rude cookies. They have stained the dresses of so many snotty brats. Princess probably shouldn't be rewarding them for this but whatever.

At some point she finds Sorbet Shark again and she just gasps really loudly and exclaims "I GOT TWO FISH NOW" and takes the very confused little guy with her. They somehow get understood by her perfectly. There is no explanation.

At sea, she responds to any minor inconvenience or threat with a very loud whistle, "FIIISSSSHHHHH" and suddenly a kraken and a siren have decided to stare very not nicely

She lets Squink sit in a pail of water next to her bed when it's time for sleep

She has also unironically started calling herself "The Fishmaster"

She has forgiven Squink for destroying the ship because "oh well its just a baby crime"

Squid Ink has the consistency of a very squishy jello and is constantly played with

Squid Ink will sit by a dock or a ships edge waiting for Princess and when she does come out she spreads her arms and gets a big ol lick. She is covered in sea monster drool but it's fine. Knight is not a particularly big fan of these "ink kisses" (he is not strong enough to stop them though)

Knight barely tolerates Squink but once he ran out of ink so they made some and that raised Knights opinion a bit (it was actually very good ink, he saves the inkwell for important letters now)

Squid Ink as to be fed things like oatmeal, algae, or mashed bananas (or coins when possible) because they are just so soft. How they can eat coins is a mystery.

Princess taught Sorbet how to breakdance and how to say the word "swag" and Knight really wishes she didn't

Tiger Lily has accepted Squid Ink as stronger than Knight which he understands but Sorbet Shark being accepted as stronger is a bit of an insult to his pride

Squid won't stop bringing Princess priceless lost treasures and she had been using them to fund giant parties and everyone is getting a little tired

It is also acceptable to feed Squink soggy corn flakes but it doesn't taste very good so they don't eat it a lot.

YEAHHHHH AGAGWUEJIEBEIDNEOEKSKS THROWS UP THESE R ALL SO

i might fucking draw these watch me neheheheheoeoeoe i think she tie dyes her dresses w them too.. them having the friendship group of the century is sooo fucking big brained i love this.

[cough-ii]

aftg as quote book pt 4 !!

“its just a silly little twerk of mine” - nicky

“i wouldn’t mind being called woke. im awake arent i?” neil/wymack

“enter hot take on kevin” *drops the mic, takes a bow* - neil

“Just a reminder we are HALF WAY THERE and we are LIVING ON A PRAYER” - renee @ games

“Led by you hoe” - Alison

“i physically cannot play with my balls in my bedroom” - neil?

“Fuckin this, fuck that fuck fuck fuck” - wymack

“Porn is a genre” - nicky

“Reading porn is better than not reading at all” - nicky

“We are all bussin” - nicky

“Don’t shoot the prime minister…please” - everyone @ andrew

“He gave himself a DIY circumcision” - be creative

“I live under a rock. It;s very warm” - neil

“The only way youre getting out of maths this year is if you kill yourself” - neil

“Don’t kill yourself” - wymack

“Tomorrow we’re going to learn how to be better bullies :)” - dan

“I have nothing important to say ever” - aaron

“I am wrong in the head” - kevin

“Some people say lots of things to get off” - nicky

“It was such a delicious luxury to have a warm drink” - matt

‘I got my pussy waxed’ - alison

‘i feel so much better without my pants’ - matt

“neil you’re flirting” - dan “oops…” neil

“Impact on the victim… DEATH” - andrew

“Stop doing magic in class please” someone to andrew

“‘You look good enough to eat,’ Andrew Minyard had said, the first time he came to pick him (Neil) up. When they got home again he did begin to eat him”

“Hey hoe 💅” alison

“That is tighter than a fishes ass hole” - matt

“Are you ok you look like a drenched rat” - dan

“If I get your name wrong, blame your parents” -wymack

“I was on drugs I didn’t know what I was doing” andrew

“I have thousands of dollars to my name” neil

“why did you threaten me?” kevin “because i wanted to” neil

“Dragons have pronouns too” renee

“i very much enjoy getting renee wet” - Alison, dunking water on renee

“andrew is a crack up” - nicky probably almost got shanked for this

“talk dirty to me” andrew “What if I tied up all your hands and legs and then threw you down the stairs and you died, but we were friends who liked practical jokes, would that be murder?” neil

‘Who was humping the statue?’ - dan

“Little red riding hood in bed with the wolf” - Alison

“His eyes are penetrating you” kevin @ neil unironically

“There are a number of ways you can skin a cat” andrew when one of the cats piss on the bed

‘Just shake ur ass and no one will notice’ nicky

“Why is it always mother fucker this, mother fucker that? Why is it never father fucker” neil

“I’m very private with my fists” dan

“I had some guy in my car and he said ‘i want to commit suicide’ and i said ‘no, not in my car get out’” - twinyards

“Girls, you’re semi-hysterical” wymack

“I touched your boob im sorry” matt @ dan

“Not just jumping off the religious sculpture, they were humping the religious sculpture” - renee, traumatised

‘DANCE you idiot, D-A-N-S…’ - kevin

‘We’ll talk about the sex party another time’ dan

‘I have a gin and tonic every night, it keeps me young’ wymack

“I was in a rage and i broke his nose” neil ab kevin

“Some people need to be chemically castrated” andrew

“Don’t chew gum in front of Jesus” renee

“I’m hearing plenty of smashing noises over here” allison in the cabin

“Oh why don’t you crawl back into your hole” andrew @ neil

“Legalise recreational use of cannibalism” aaron in a presentation

“CMERE YOU LITTLE BOLLOCKS!” wymack

“Stabbing them 3 or 4 times is plenty” andrew

“My brother got dropped on his head” andrew

‘Comparing sizes’ nicky

‘Ive been stalking you all’ kevin

“Shit, Shit, SHIT, Oh my god, SHIT. That’s fucked” nicky

“She called him gay so i threw the chair at her” neil

“I’m gonna die” aaron “Don’t care.” neil

“Get help please” dan

“Young people’s music today, I just don’t get it” abby

“We all have the homosexual gene” andrew

“I’m not going to get you to go around class and looking if people have homosexual characteristics” andrew maybe

‘i saw this really big tombstone and i asked ‘is that where jesus was buried?’’ andrew @ renee

‘What if I worked 55 hours a day?’ matt?

“now that i’m your legal guardian i guess i should look after you” dan a/o matt @ neil

“lesbians are people too” neil

“Charisma test? caress my balls” nicky

“Do you want to do a quickie to de-stress” andrew

“If you are interested in any horizontal refreshment” andrew

“Spit on your hand and stroke my cock at a medium pace, play with my balls and tell me how big they are” (…….. i have second hand embarrassment) - allison

“Do you think Jesus had daddy issues?” alison

“We all get stressed sometimes but cursing is not fucking ok” dan

“I'm working, im twerking and im jerking” nicky

‘It’s a good kisser it’s so smooth and soft and warm’ neil ab his homework

[britt-thats-it]

Being back on tumblr is so nice. It’s like I never left (except I can’t remember everyone I used to follow/they probs left too).

(feelsies under the cut)

I only left because this couple I almost dated (who took my not dating them very hard) sort of cyber stalked me here. I kept making new accounts and they kept finding them and showing them to everyone in the scene we were all part of and following all the people I was mutuals with and it was… not cool.

Anyway, I’ve been really struggling with grief since quarantine. I had a huge falling out with my sister who I had been living with for the last 4 years. Her lack of recovery was badly interfering with my recovery and I was so deeply triggered by her behavior that I was barely functioning. I was in a constant state of flared up, in so much pain every day, even laying down was uncomfortable. I wasn’t able to eat bc my reflux was going crazy, I was starting to drink too much (something I hadn’t struggled with in years), I wasn’t sleeping. The pressure of being home together all the time took its toll.

Coincidentally, divine timing being what it is, my partner and I were spending hours on the phone every day. Just falling so in love. We’d already been together for almost a year, but her two other relationships falling apart, career change, and my chronic illness and not remembering how to be in a relationship (lol— it had been a LONG time and I was fully down to spend the rest of my life alone) kept us at a bit of a distance. We had been very close friends for a couple years beforehand, so when we took things to a romantic level, the feelings progressed quickly but we just didn’t have much time for each other. Anyway, she invited me to come stay with her. I was only planning on 2 weeks, but I literally never left. Everything just felt so easy and sweet. We handle each other with such care. Over the last 3 years my life has become a kind of stable that I’ve never (I mean NEVER) experienced. I love it and I am so grateful for it.

But I remember from my trauma-filled childhood, the survival mode of the present puts off the feelings for later. It isn’t until you have a calm moment that the feelings about what you just went through hit you.

The last 7 years hit me like an 18 wheeler. Going no contact with my family, living on the road, losing my job and being homeless, moving to nyc on a wing and a prayer, living with my sister and reliving A lot of my childhood through her behaviors, struggling through the capitalist ass New York art scene as an autistic person while also being very poor, working my fucking ass off, *just* about to hit my stride and do this fuckin career thang and boom. Covid.

I made an album, collaborated on a friend’s album, started my podcast and wrote a book. I’m in the middle of making another album. All this while feeling myself really trust someone, really learn what partnership means, really feeling like an adult, but also feeling so so wounded. The grief has been the heaviest thing I’ve ever felt. I lost myself a little bit. Insert bloody goopy chrysalis metaphor here.

I did all this but not joyfully, not really. Something was missing.

I have been trying, in the last few months, to unironically find my bliss again. I lost my sparkle, I lost my drive. I really feel like I experienced my own metaphorical death. I was anxious and raw, I second-guessed every interaction because I felt like I didn’t know how to be a person. I was completely sober!! Just fucking raw dogging life!!! I was scared all the time. I forgot my passions, I forgot my purpose. I still worked on stuff, I still created (a lot that I’m proud of!!) but idk I just wasn’t the same free-spirited confident lil powerhouse I came to know myself to be.

I think I gave too much on other social media. I think I was too vulnerable and too available and it got me into trouble. I think I confused work for life and I soured my own creation process for me. It became too important. Every hobby, every passion became kindling for money making or making “it” or whatever. I forgot how to have fun. I burnt myself out.

I recently started remembering hobbies I had that I never shared with anyone irl. Exercise/weight lifting, which I picked back up again in February, slowly testing the waters to see if my disordered relationship to it would return, it didn’t. Feeling myself getting stronger being exactly what I needed (literally and metaphorically) and all the good stuff that does to my confidence. Playing music just for fun, just sitting down with an instrument and playing 😫 locking myself in a room and flitting around like a mad scientist creating something I love 😫 dancing 😫 meditation 😫 journaling 😫 pulling tarot cards just for me 😫 and finally, longing for connection of some sort; for actual vulnerability and not people just fucking marketing themselves all the time— I remembered how much tumblr helped me. How much it inspired me. How it helped me become the person who made all those scary changes, who learned who I am and learned how to walk away. So much good came from that decade I spent here, so I decided to come back.

It’s exactly what I needed.

[altocat]

reading Genesis' childhood journal in Banora makes me sad because it shows he really did care about Seph in the end. He just wanted Seph to notice him.

Hhh the journal.

The journal is one of the reasons I unironically found myself growing to care about Genesis despite him being a consistent little shit over the course of the game. I think CC really did need to show some of his more positive traits early on so that he'd be less polarizing. Sometimes, Genesis can come off as kind of sadistic and sociopathic when I know that's definitely not what they intended him to be. I think it was just needing one or two additional scenes or placements to hammer the message that he too was a victim of Shinra, as well as corrupted and influenced by his illness.

The journal though is important. Because for all of Genesis' boasting and taunting, he really DID love and care about his friends in the end, and just wanted to be seen and aknowledged by them. He met Sephiroth solely because Seph was his hero and he wanted him to be proud of him. We can assume that Genesis' relationship with his adopted parents wasn't great, as he had no qualms in killing them. Sephiroth was likely his main inspiration in his youth, as well as the idol he used to fortify his ideas of wanting to become a hero. He wanted Sephiroth's attention and respect, and to show him how worthy he was.

The truly tragic thing is that for all their squabbles and ugly words, Sephiroth DID care very deeply about Genesis and never looked down on him. Genesis was always worthy in his eyes.

He teased him briefly during the fight scene but the respect was there. Sephiroth ENJOYED fighting with him, and never viewed Genesis as a rival he had to bully or undermine. He was willing to contribute to Genesis' blood transfusion without hesitation as was visibly saddened when he couldn't. We never see him actively fight or stop Genesis at all, something Angeal was willing to do. He wasn't eating or sleeping because he was worried about Genesis and Angeal. In Hollander's lab, Sephiroth is upset that Genesis still feels the need to fight due to petty desires for glory. He ALREADY recognizes Genesis. Genesis is probably, based on their interactions and how strongly Sephiroth reacts to his betrayal at Nibelheim, Sephiroth's best friend. After Angeal's death, even after everything Genesis had done up to that point, not only does Sephiroth want to avoid killing him, but he is willing to leave Shinra over it. Even THEN. And Genesis had a LOT to answer for by that point.

And Genesis can't see or recognize this because he's too blinded by his own insecurities and corruption. He couldn't see what was right in front of him this whole time.

Genesis being the one to trigger Sephiroth into a meltdown is tragic because you have two people who very clearly care about each other shoved into a very dark, ugly spat and it's literally for NOTHING. There was no need to hurt Sephiroth, or seek petty vengeance because there was nothing there, no resentment, no bitterness. Sephiroth only ever saw Genesis for what he was. His friend.

They could have shared the apples together man.

They could have done it. 😭

[lyxthen-reblogs]

Hi! I was raised catholic and while I am now an atheist, I still participate in a lot of catholic-y stuff. I guess the denomination would be Mexican catholic, since I'm Mexican.

How Catholicism is different from other branches:

It's fun. I often find myself surprised of how much other branches of Christianity shun anything that is fun. Catholics drink and eat and dance and they party hard.

Universality as well as diversity. As prev said, a Catholic may feel welcome in any church they go to, but Catholic practices are actually very diverse. Each region has their own festivities, where I am from, we celebrate "La Samaritana," a holiday in which people give away sweet drinks and ice cream for free to celebrate that time a Samaritan woman gave Jesus water from her well. Many other regions have their own hyperspecific holidays.

The importance of the Virgin Mary. She is like, the BIG one in my opinion. Sure, Jesus is the son of God and he will always be at the center, but who sends the son of God to do the dishes, hm? Who tells the son of God to go to sleep at bedtime? Who tells him to eat his vegetables? That's Mary.

An emphasis on the tangible. While other churches may focus exclusively on spirituality, Catholicism is really concerned with things. Jewelry, clothes, places of worship, relics, stamps, the whole "blood and body of Christ" thing. The connection between God and the world is a material one, not just a spiritual one.

Heresy. Lots of catholics do things the Church doesn't necessarily endorse. This is fine. They still consider themselves Catholic. Folk practices are super important to a lot of communities, and I've met a few Catholic witches and Santeros. I can promise you there are Catholics out there that unironically pray to Goku and Maradona, I am not met them but they must exist. This is a thing.

Things that feel catholic or catholic-coded:

Anything to do with vampires.

Guilt and confessions. Every time I see a character "seeking atonement" I'm like HAH. CATHOLIC. On the same vein, absolution and forgiveness. An embracing, to a degree, of moral impurity, recognizing that humans can't be morally perfect and that is okay as long as we try.

Homoerotic devotion. I'm not saying all gay sex is Catholic, that would be absurd. I'm talking about the "It's rotten work" and "Not to me. Not if it's you," variety of homoeroticism specifically, the "going to insane lengths to save you" ordeal. Your Homura Akemis and Samwise Gamgees of the world. Brands of gayness that are not Catholic include, but aren't limited to: Homoerotic obsession, forbidden romance, mind games, it's not gay if we do it with the socks on, etc. As prev said, acts of service as a way to show love.

Pipe organs and bells.

Skulls.

Bureaucracy. Catholicism is basically if religion had bureaucracy. Like, "no, sorry, you can't go directly to God for that. You have to put your request for a plentiful harvest for review through the agricultural department. Yeah, Saint Isidore is in charge of that one. I'm sorry, it's really not up to me." This is true for other aspects of the religion as well. When you get baptized, or any other sacrament, you get a written certificate. A small change in wording accidentally made a whole lot of baptisms suddenly invalid. Catholicism has honest to God (heh) legal loopholes. Faustian bargains are so very Catholic because of course the devil will have you sign a legal contract before taking your soul.

There are other things I could add but there are the main ones for me, at least.

Calling All Catholics!

Weird thing for a Jew to post I know I know but hear me out here.

I would like to hear from Catholics (current and ex/raised),

what do you feel separates your religion from others (both other sects of Christianity and other religions as a whole? what feels unique or specific to you/your culture/your beliefs/your church? this can be theological beliefs, practices, or even aesthetics

what things feel "inherently Catholic" or "Catholic coded" to you?

if you don't mind, would you also include what subset of Catholicism you are/were raised in (Roman, Byzantine, Irish, Opus Dei, etc)?

As you may have guessed, this is for research, and I personally only have experience with Roman Catholicism (and limited experience at that, more cultural than truly religious). I would love to hear from a larger subset of people. My family is extremely Italian Catholic but that's just one very specific version, and I don't have much/any experience with any others. I'm curious to see what the common ground is.

Reblogs/signal boosts are appreciated as I doubt I have like a SUPER broad Catholic following myself lol!

[gilbirda]

How to confuse a Bat

Part 4 of my Danny is an Arkham Security Guard AU (og tumblr post)

[Read on AO3][Read on FF.net]

<< Prequel - Can’t have shit in Gotham || Clown around and find out - Sequel >>

“So… Are we going to talk about it?”

Tim sipped a bit of his apple juice pack. “About what?” He answered Dick.

“The… The brother. Daniel.”

“If you are going to suggest adopting him into the family because of his physical features, I will stab you in the eye.” Damian didn’t even look up from his fruit snacks, the ones Alfred insisted they carry just in case the mission prolonged more than planned.

Which it did.

Since apparently they were waiting until the siblings finished their shift to ask the questions. Damian thought it was stupid - just kidnap the siblings, interrogate and get on with the investigation! There are things at risk more important than their jobs!

Stupid Father. Stupid Grayson. Agreeing with Todd was usually foolish, but this could prove to be a very bad decision.

“That would be super funny, but their parents are still alive.” Nightwing shrugged, but a tiny smirk stayed on his lips. “I was referring to the green glow? In the kid’s eyes?”

“He’s 24, not a kid.” Tim grumbled. He didn’t like being younger than someone called “kid”.

“Cranky because you are half the size I was at your age, huh.” Jason smirked behind the thermos with coffee Bats had brought when it was decided they’ll meet the siblings in the morning.

Despite having the option of sleeping until they were to meet the Fentons, neither thought they would be able to. They did their usual patrolling and when it was close to the meeting time they decided to regroup and set camp on the roof of the building the siblings lived at, eat some food Alfred prepared and rest for a bit. Duke stayed behind with Alfred at the Manor.

Only Steph was unironically happy when Dick said it has been a while since they went on a family picnic. 

“Green glowing eyes, anybody?” Dick decided to ignore the starting argument between Tim and Jason. 

“I agree that is very concerning, but,” Batman sighed, “I think extracting information about their parents is more important right now.”

“Jay?” The man turned from where he was about to pinch one of Tim’s cheeks. “Did you feel any weird vibes from Daniel? Anything from the Pit?”

Jason caught his little brother’s kick with one hand, pondering the question and ignoring the protest from Tim to let his foot go.

“Not really. I wasn’t exactly paying attention, you know?”

“Yeah, because you were talking about your daddy issues.” Steph elbowed Bruce, who refused to comment.

“Oh, shut up.” He pushed Tim away from him, who did a flip and landed safely on both feet. Cass clapped softly at the display. 

“Don’t feel ashamed, it’s more common than you think~.” Spoiler singsonged, dodging when the other man tried to punch her arm.

“Children.” Batman stopped the argument, secretly glad that they couldn’t see his slight blush or how his eyes had followed Jason since they met up earlier in the night.

“No, but really, that girl is amazing.” Dick munched on his sandwich, also looking at Jason. 

“Her skills could be polished, but she got the advantage over Todd.” Damian agreed.

“Is that a compliment or a backhanded insult to me?”

“I wasn’t talking about the gun - which we should definitely talk about how she got that thing past the controls at Arkham; I was thinking more about her therapist skills. And her ability to make Jay sit still at all.”

“Nobody told me to expect resistance. It won’t happen again.” Jason crossed his arms. He was still thinking about how Jasmine managed to get him in such a position and how his heart raced with fear for a hot second.

He hated feeling helpless.

“Cranky because you talked about your feelings?” Tim elbowed him, jumping back when Jason turned to glare at him.

“Maybe we should do that.” Nightwing finished his sandwich and looked wistfully at the starless sky.

“Talk about Jason’s feelings?”

“No,” he shook his head but didn’t look at Stephanie, feeling everyone’s eyes on him. “If this Jasmine girl is so good that everyone at Arkham loves her, maybe we should talk to her as well. About feelings.”

A few cringed at the thought, well aware that talking about feelings took a lot of work.

“That is if she’s not secretly a mad scientist.” Dick shrugged with a tiny smile.

It wasn’t long until they saw the siblings turn around the corner and walk quickly to their apartment. Their building wasn’t in the shady parts of Gotham, but still the city at night wasn’t a safe place.

“Hm.” Was all Batman said to the group before all of them, one by one, jumped down the fire escape stairs and into the correct window.

Of course, they waited inside the living room with the lights off. They had to play the dramatics and the intimidation tactics. It was Bat-theory 101.

“Huh.” Was all the reaction they got from Danny, who didn’t look surprised to find them there after flipping the light switch. His sister, on the other hand, took a moment to adjust to the sudden light and then smiled brightly at the intruders.

“Yes!” She pumped her fist. 

Daniel side eyed her. “You are a weirdo.”

“I am passionate, that’s different.” She ruffled his hair. “And look who’s talking, you weirdo.”

The young man rolled his eyes and closed the door, dropped his bag and hung the jacket, all without even glancing at the full set of super heroes in his apartment. Jasmine followed suit, but she constantly looked at the others with a tiny smile.

“Ok!” She finally addressed them. “We said we’ll talk and now let’s talk. I need my beauty sleep.” She dragged her brother closer to the heroes.

The bats looked at each other for a moment before Batman stepped forward.

“Did you know your parents have independent contracts with the government?”

“Yes.” Jasmine nodded carefully. She wasn’t lying, but she didn’t know where this was going. “They usually sell their inventions or patent them. Science isn’t cheap and even if we don’t agree with it, it’s money and it brings food to the table.”

Daniel snorted but didn’t comment further on it.

“Do you keep in touch with your parents?”

They tensed a little, but recovered quickly.

“No.” Daniel didn’t add further comment.

“Our parents… We still call sometimes, but after we moved out from home…” She looked down. She wasn’t lying here either, but there was more she wasn’t saying.

“Have they mentioned something lately? Any kind of new contract? Anything about an ex-government division?”

“What did they do now?” Daniel closed his eyes and sighed, looking resigned.

Bruce was hesitant for a moment. So far the Fenton siblings were cooperative, a bit withdrawn, but it was understandable. 

“Are you familiar with the name ‘Ghost Inv-’”

“The fucking Guys in White?” Daniel's lips curled at the name. “What did theydo now?”

“Daniel-”

“Danny, please.” 

Batman nodded slowly. “It has come to our attention that Jackson and Madeline Fenton have long term contracts with the GIW,” he searched Danny’s face. It didn't change expressions, so he knew about these contracts, “as well as their collaboration and expert opinion on some experiments.”

This was the key word. Danny and Jasmine froze. She had been drifting a bit from the conversation and let her brother deal with it as she admired the costumed guests, but she snapped back into attention as Bruce said the last word.

“What?” She asked.

“Experim-”

“We heard you the first time.” Danny narrowed his eyes. “What kind of experiments?”

“The kind you don’t want to know.” 

“No…” Jasmine’s legs failed her and she let herself fall into the couch. 

Her brother put a hand on her shoulder in support. “We knew this would happen eventually.” 

“I hoped to be there and stop it.”

“I hoped they kept the experimentation at home.”

“So you knew this was happening?” Bruce really didn’t want to arrest these individuals. He liked them. Jasmine had been very nice to his son and handled Jason like no one else could. 

“It’s… complicated.” Daniel… Danny made a face. “Our parents believe that ghosts can’t feel pain.”

There was a moment of silence.

“You said ‘ghosts’. As in-”

“Specters, apparitions, phantasms.” Danny interrupted Tim, making a gesture with his hand. “Keep up.”

“But ghosts don’t exist.”

“Ha! Wouldn’t that be nice?” Danny threw at Red Robin, the hand on his sister rubbing circles on her back. “Also, haven't you guys dealt with the paranormal before?”

“Unfortunately.” He conceded with a shrug.

“So you’re saying that the person we saw in the video was a ghost?” Batman stepped in before the argument could go further.

“Yeah.” He narrowed his eyes as he noticed Batman and a few behind him relaxed their stance a little. “Would that make it better for you? Make it easier to ignore?”

“Danny.” Jasmine said as a warning.

“No no, please, by all means, answer my question. Do you believe that because it is a ghost it’s okay to be experimented on? To be cut open and have your guts thrown around as you watch them do unspeakable things, feeling every second of it?”

All of them saw it. His eyes, which had been a cool and crystalline blue, were now glowing and green. Lazarus Pit green, like Jason's were shortly after being revived.

But Danny didn’t look consumed by the rage. He was angry, tense, and ready to fight - but his breathing was calm and controlled and the hand on his sister’s back was still there, seeking physical contact.

“Calm down. It was just a question.” 

“Then answer me. It’s also ‘just a question’.”

Bruce lifted his hands to show he wasn’t a threat. It worked just a little. “No. It doesn’t matter which species someone is - if they have life or consciousness, they don’t deserve to suffer.”

Danny blinked and his eyes were back to blue, but he still was tense. 

“So all these weapons and their work with the GIW…?”

“Yes, it’s to hunt and destroy ghosts.” Now it was the brother who let himself fall on the couch. “Our parent’s lives work.” His mouth twisted in disgust.

“And you don’t agree.”

“Of course we don’t fucking agree! Why would we, when -” He stopped himself. Hm.

Jasmine jumped in, taking one of Danny’s hands and squeezing it. “Our parents… They are really obsessed with ghosts. It is their whole lives! Everything they do, everything they make… it’s to capture, experiment on or kill ghosts.”

Bruce didn’t think he was the only one that caught the pained look in the young woman’s eyes as she said this. He wouldn’t be surprised if the siblings came from a neglectful childhood.

“While it doesn’t surprise us to see them work with the GIW, we didn’t believe they would go through with it. We had many big fights, around the time Danny and I moved out, about this topic. To make them see that it was wrong, that they should stop.”

“They are beyond help, Jazz. I told you. I told you.”

“Then what are we going to do?”

“You are not going to do anything.” Batman’s tone was final. “If you could tell us everything you know, we can-”

“No.” Danny’s eyes were green again as he looked up.

“No?” Nightwing tried really hard to not project how tense he felt.

“No. This is our problem. The GIW, our parents. The ghosts.”

“No offense, but you don’t have the means to deal with a problem like this.” Tim’s tone was controlled, but it let pass some of the judgemental disbelief. The siblings were smart, and probably trained, but they were still just a doctor and a prison guard. 

“Full offense, but you don’t know what the fuck you are talking about.” The young man jumped to his feet, glaring with those unnatural glowing eyes. The lights in the apartment flickered for a moment.

Jason put a hand on his gun, ready to step in. Tim stepped forwards, eyes fixed on Danny’s.

“Ok, let’s stop.” Nightwing put a hand over his little brothers’ stomachs. Jazz took the chance and did the same with Danny.

“Danny. Your eyes.” She whispered, but they could hear perfectly in such a small room. So she is aware of what is going on with him.

Whatever Danny did to make his eyes stop glowing Jason could feel it this time, now that he was paying attention. The Pit inside of him echoed, withdrawing on itself, closing and closing until he could barely feel it. His mouth tasted like copper for some reason, as if some kind of memory.

He gasped.

“Hood?” Someone asked, but he couldn’t really say who. His attention was fully on the kid (not a kid , not a kid, his mind urgently told him) and how all hostility left him as they looked at each other.

Jason felt unnervingly seen, even with the covering helmet and the mask beneath. Danny, whatever or whoever he was, could see into his own soul. He was sure of it. It didn’t matter how.

“What the fuck was that?” he muttered, finally.

“You are not Dead,” Danny tilted his head, “but you are not one of the Living. What are you?”

Before Jason could say anything, Batman stepped between them, his dark and towering figure acting as a wall between them. Nobody dared to even breathe.

“What are you ?” Bruce used the voice. He was scared.

“Danny.” Jasmine took her brother by the shoulder to turn his body around and make him look at her. “I think they can help.”

Danny snorted. “How?”

“Batman has resources we don’t. The Justice League-”

“No.”

“Daniel-”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Danny, technically, we could appeal the Metahuman Rights Acts-”

“And technically I shouldn’t exist.”

“This could be our only chance!”

“Or they could make the situation worse!”

“Excuse me?” Steph lifted a hand, trying to follow the argument. The siblings turned to look at her at the same time. “How are you guys involved, exactly? I mean, they are doing really bad things to ghosts, but shouldn’t ghosts take care of it? Do they have someone that deals with these things?”

The question was good. After all, why did the siblings care so much for the ghosts? Sure they didn’t believe in their parents’ ideals, but still, if it was that big of a deal why did they consider themselves the only ones who could stop it?

“Oh yeah, the ghosts have someone working on it-”

“Danny…”

“- Me.” He said with the widest grin, and for a moment it looked like it had too many teeth, way sharper than they needed to be.

Jazz put her head in her hands, hiding the groan.

“Jazzy-pants, they are only going to get in the way with the detective-ing. Better rip that bandaid off right now.”

“Don’t call me that.” Her mouth turned down a little. “And I can see your point.”

“But?”

“The last time we barely made it, Danny. You can’t be everywhere all the time -”

“I told you I was working on it.”

“- and the GIW must have upped the security, especially if they are working with mom and dad.” She continued, ignoring him. And ignoring the bats as if they weren’t even there. “Sam and Tucker-”

“Leave them out of this.”

Jazz’s expression was pained. “Without their support our chances of success are lower.”

“I’ve trained since.”

“So did I! But it is not enough and you know it.”

The siblings glared at each other, waiting for the other to yield first. 

Batman didn’t dare breathe, absolutely sure that if they remembered the bats were still here they would stop the argument - and stop giving them so much information.

"No Justice League." It took a moment to register that Danny was talking to them, probably because he was still looking at his sister's eyes. "If they get involved we walk away forever."

Batman really wanted to fight it - try to make them see that with a problem like this they didn't have a chance without help. Maybe insist that they were civilians, and use the usual spiel about them being their responsibility now.

But he couldn't find the breath to speak. Was it how Danny tensed, as if either option was equally disturbing? Or how Jasmine - Jazz - had a defeated air around her?

He had no doubt that if the siblings wanted to disappear, not even a god would be able to find them. There was just something about them, something inhuman and plainly other, that he was sure that they didn’t throw empty threats around.

"Maybe we should start over again. No Justice League, no threats, everybody calm." Dick was really trying.

"And no lying?" Jazz answered him, but her eyes were fixed on Danny's, as if asking for permission.

This was it. They were going to finally explain what was going on with them.

Danny nodded. "No lying." He finally looked at the bats in their living room, the sunrise coming from the window stealing away the mysterious aura around them. "You can lose the furry suits, guys. It's not the same effect under the sunlight."

Before they could protest at the comment, Jazz turned with an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry, we know who you are. We’ve known for a while now.”

"And before you get all paranoid, we are not going to do shit about it." Danny turned as well, eyes narrowed. "We sure know the importance of a secret identity."

There was a moment of silence.

“We will meet again tonight. If you really know who we are, come find the Cave.”

“Hell no! I’ve got to work!”

“I didn’t know that ghost-adjacent champions needed to work?” Steph said, tired with the evasiveness of the siblings and really wanting to go home.

Danny crossed his arms. “Rent won’t pay itself. And I really like my job and would like to keep it, thank you very much.”

As he moved, Jason’s eyes noticed the scars that crept up his sleeve, an intricate zig zag of overlapping scars that mapped a rough landscape in what was once, probably, soft skin.

He didn’t need to be a detective to know what those meant. Danny was trained, dangerous and had glowing green eyes - that he was a warrior of some kind was not the question. 

Instead, he wondered if he had paid the price of Justice, and how much it cost him.

***

Many hours later, after suffering their respective day job/school with little to no sleep - they teased Danny about having to work, but they had to maintain appearances too -, the night found Bruce, Tim and Alfred going through Jason’s footage at Arkham, as well as all the information on the siblings and the town they came from, Amity Park.

Now that they knew that Jasmine was not dangerous-

(“Not dangerous? She pointed a gun to my face!”)

- they could focus on the brother. They had dismissed him since on record there wasn’t anything of notice from him. Didn’t pursue education after highschool, no criminal records, not even a hospital visit; which was weird, since whatever reason that made Danny’s eyes glow shouldn’t be normal, or healthy.

Just in case they checked the Lazarus Pit activity. Any reported League operations, suspicious behavior from Ra’s, any connection to something that was related to death and made your eyes glow green.

“Dunno, maybe there’s something in the water from where they are from.” Jason had commented when the search proved fruitless and he got bored of it.

“That’s it!” Tim shouted as he picked up his tablet, furiously typing something on the screen and laughing when he did. He turned the tablet to show what he found, seconds before Jason opened his mouth to ask if he was okay in the head. “‘Local superhero Inviso-Bill saves the day!’” He read the headline of the newspaper showing on the screen.

“Superhero?” Bruce commented, but his mind was fixated on the blurry photo of a figure flying away from the scene.

“Great, more supers.” Jason groaned from the table where he was reading to pass the time until the siblings showed up - or not, some of them had the theory that the Fentons packed up and ran to deal with their parents on their own.

Not that Jason would blame them, but running into danger without backup to deal with estranged parents wasn’t exactly a smart move. Zero stars out of five. Wouldn’t recommend it.

“What kind of name is Inviso-bill?”

“The kind that bad press gives you,” a new voice echoed in the cave behind them. “Not very intimidating. I know.”

Batman turned, one hand ready on his belt… that wasn’t there. Because he was wearing his civilian clothes. Heart racing, he glanced at Alfred, who nodded and tried to sneak towards a filing cabinet that disguised batarangs.

“Dude, calm down. We wouldn‘t want you to have a heart attack now.” Danny relaxed his body on purpose, lifting his hands with his palms forward, trying to be as least threatening as possible.

“How?” Was the only thing Bruce could say.

This took Danny by surprise. “You haven’t figured it out yet? I thought you were the world’s greatest detective.”

“Self proclaimed.” Jason nodded in greeting at Jazz when she walked from behind her brother. The other waved with a wide smile.

“Hey, B?” 

Bruce looks at Tim, who was showing him a picture on his tablet - a clearer photo of Amity Park’s own superhero, Danny Phantom. His eyes went back to the Arkham Guard, Danny Fenton.

Phantom in the picture was younger, more fresh, with a big smile on his face. And of course the white hair and the green eyes.

Danny was burned out and tired, with dark bags under his dull blue eyes that were brimming with shadows full of secrets, adding years to his expression.

“You are a superhero.”

Jazz made a face, but didn’t comment. Danny rolled his eyes.

“No. I am definitely not. I’m just a Security Guard at Arkham.”

“You were a superhero.” Bruce tried again. Danny didn’t say anything but the answer was obvious. “What happened?”

He knew it had been a bad move when Danny narrowed his eyes, the green creeping back into the blue, his lips curled into a silent growl.

“So… Do you have more-” Jasmine tried to move on with the conversation, stepping around her brother.

“Father! We heard the alarms and came as fast as-!” Damian came down running to the Cave, katana in hand, screeching to a halt when he saw the siblings.

“What’s going - woah!” Duke froze behind the child. He blinked a few times, eyes fixed on Danny. “Bruce? Is this… the guy?”

The guy, Danny said under his breath, amused.

“Duke, this is Danny. And his sister, Jasmine.” Bruce made a gesture, apparently accepting that this was happening. 

But Duke only frowned and blinked, his lips pressed in thought.

“Something wrong?”

Duke tried to sound reassuring but his voice wavered a little. “He doesn’t look human.” A few seconds later he realized what he said and tried to backtrack. “I mean, there’s this weird vibe around him…”

“Don’t worry, I’m not offended. I’m not human.” Everybody saw Jazz tense as Danny said this with a calm smile. “Just out of curiosity, what can you see? I wondered what the only meta from the bat-clan would see in me.”

The hero used the moment it took to walk down the rest of the steps towards the batcomputer, where everyone was gathered, to think his words carefully. What he saw wasn’t easy to describe.

“It’s like… two pictures overlapping. Like these manipulated vintage ghost photos? But the… aura moves even when you're not moving. It’s weird. Are you… possessed or something?”

Danny turned towards his sister with a big smile. “Did you hear that, Jazz? I look like a ghost.”

She rolled her eyes, laughing at some kind of inner joke. 

Damian opened his mouth, ready to protest and bring attention back to the fact that two total strangers somehow got into one of the most secret and protected places on Earth, when alarms started blasting from the computer. 

Danny gasped, making a pained face.

“Danny?” Jazz asked, one hand on her brother’s shoulder. They weren’t looking at the Bats on the computer.

“I can’t believe this.” He murmured. “He actually did it.”

“What?” Tim asked, trying to pay attention to both the siblings and Bruce at the computer.

“Joker has escaped Arkham.” The man declared, drowning whatever Danny was saying to Jasmine.

“Of course.” Jason rolled his eyes. He sighed, jumping down the table and turning his head to crack his neck. “Let’s get going.”

“No.” Did Danny time his words with the moment the alarms stopped? If so, he would fit perfectly with the Bats’ dramatics. At least in Jason’s opinion. “He’s mine.”

The silence in the Cave was only broken by a group of bats flying away, as if they felt the air getting heavier.

“He’s dangerous.” Bruce tried to word it like it wasn’t an order for him to stay put. It didn’t work.

“Funny. So am I.” Danny did that smile that didn’t fit quite right in his face, eyes turning green and glowing even under the bright computer screens. 

Jason saw his body tense, ready to run, and stepped in to stop him before Danny made a mistake. Green eyes turned to stare at him, once again the Pit doing flips and recognizing whatever Danny was. This time instead of calming it was terrifying, paralyzing, searching into his soul and pulling, evoking sensations he thought he wouldn’t feel again. Pure terror. Screams. Hopelessness.

Darkness gathered from the corners of the Cave, a strange freezing wind circling around them. For a moment Jason could almost see white strands in Danny’s hair when the breeze lifted it out of his face.

“You can come to the party if you want. But the clown is mine.” Danny winked as if they weren’t watching him with various panicked expressions, and did finger guns at his sister. “Be right back.”

He stepped back and disappeared.

<< Prequel - Can’t have shit in Gotham || Clown around and find out - Sequel >>

BACK TO THE ARCHIVE

BACK TO DANNY PHANTOM ARCHIVE

[squeiky]

BEASTARS PARALLELS

Volumes used: 10-13 (with slight mentions of volumes before.)

WARNING: Images are edited to fit the book that I (myself) was reading. Since I've been reading the VIZ media books, Its come to my attention that the translations very are different online than it is here. Thus, I've concluded I must translate it all, in order for my points to come arose clearly.

Reminder: Click for better quality, or if you want to read it.

First parallel, is the "I love herbivores/I love carnivores" moment between Legoshi and Louis. Even funnier is that, it seem seems Legoshi is the reason, and Ibuki is the realization.

Also, in my book, When Ibuki ask if his freind is more important to him than the Shishigumi, Louis mentions that both the Shishigumi and Legoshi are both equally important to him. Which is a lot, considering that a parallel drawn within the manga itself is Louis comparing Ibuki to his father.

With the Shishigumi being basically family to him, its astonishing that Legoshi is on the exact same level of importance.

Another note, is that before this interaction and declaration about herbivores, Legoshi was thinking of Haru.

Unironically, Louis made a "eat me" joke to Legoshi, which (atleast in my book) is similar to the "how would I taste?" joke Haru made. This joke was duiring Louis's dream of Haru, before being waken up by Ibuki. This was after Legoshi thought of Haru, though.

Second parallel between the "dreams" and "nightmares" of Louis and Haru. Unsurprisingly both herbivores, that of which he keeps having repetitive dreams/nightmares about.

Weirdly enough, Legoshi agonizes about both of them. Unable to control what he's dreaming about, and slightly suffering because of it. Albeit, different levels of agony.

^goes with Juno and her realization, but eh

Third parallel with Riz vs Legoshi and Louis as the Moth.

In my book, during the fight with Riz (the last panel before he turned into a illusion of moths), Legoshi says "Isn't that right, Moth?", which was within the page that Legoshi was reminiscing over the Moth. Here, instead of a Moth, its Louis. Instead of Riz, its a bunch of drug dealers. Yet, its still the same concept of: for the sake of herbivores.

Of which both battles, he has the enemy surrender.

Also, Legoshi visualizes Louis similarly to how he did the Moth, which... weirdly enough, have both entered his body. Both the Moth and Louis visuals motivate him, and both Moth and Louis teach Legoshi something that he later carries on. (In my book, while conversing with Louis- before eating his leg- he tells him, "That's not all I remember. A lot has happened to us over the past year.//Louis, thanks to you I didn't become a monster.".

Moth and Louis both teach him, or help him in some way. They also motivate him during his fights for justice. They are also both were consumed by him (although Louis is still alive, of course.) Oh, and they were both dreamed about (as the Moth interaction took place when he was knocked out).

Forth parallel is this Louis and Legoshi scene with Juno and Haru's.

(My book for this scene is unavailable, so a direct translation cannot be made. That's why I don't have a picture.)

The scene at the gardening club where Juno calls Haru "cute" and interacts with Haru, realizing why carnivores can never "win" against herbivores

It's not an exact parallel between the two wolves, but its interesting that scenes like this take place in locations where hthe two are alone and simply enjoying anothers company.

The difference being while Juno rejects her emotions towards Haru in fear of ending up "wrapped around her finger" like Louis and Legoshi", Legoshi ends up admitting his emotions towards herbivores, fulling embracing them. (Louis does the whole, "I know." thing too, its great.)

One detail added are the soft hexagons and the dotty gradients that appear in the room. The soft geometric shapes only appear when he's thinking of Louis (see the soft triangles during his "reminiscing over getting high" scene), when he's admitting something deep/personal and when Louis sits next to him/ when they have a nice heart-to-heart.

It's not a parallel, but its a detail I noticed and wanted to bring up.

Thats all for now.

(I'm still learning about Yahya and Gosha, but I can see parallels between the two and Louis and Legoshi. The difference is that I don't think Louis has a grudge against Legohsi for wanting to date haru and stuff. They're not important to this post yet, but I'll bring it up.)

[mimzy-writing-online]

You probably know this by now, I don't know if you keep up with Whumptober, but one of the prompts this year includes "blindness". I'm not blind but based on your posts about writing blind characters, and based on how I would feel if one of my disabilities were used as a whump prompt, I'm not super comfortable with it. I was wondering what your thoughts are on blindness being a Whumptober prompt.

(unironically and with feeling) thanks, I hate it.

Yes, I’m familiar with Whumptober, but I’ve never participated myself and I haven’t seen this year’s prompts.

Edit: I later did see the prompts and check out the blog. I think it's a good set of prompts and I look forward to all the promising content, especially since some of my favorite tropes are there. To be clear before you read this, I have no problem with Whumptober2021 or whump in general. This is not the first time blindness has been included for a list of whump prompts, and it won't be the last.

This post directed at the concept of "blindness" as a whump prompt and why I think it's a bad idea. The intended audience is individual writers thinking about future projects.

The timing of this is almost too perfect because I read a fanfic earlier this week that would meet that prompt exactly. Tags included whump, blindness, and angst with a happy ending. Now whump, hurt/comfort, and angst with a happy ending are tags I enjoy reading, but blindness as whump has a specific message to it.

To explain that message, I want to discuss what whump is. Many readers are already familiar with the genre, but I think taking the specific definitions and picking apart what it means and what expectations we carry when reading whump fanfiction

Urban Dictionary defines it as: taking a character and putting them through physical and/or mental torment and is typically followed by the same character being treated for their traumas. To indicate the characters place in the situation they’d typically be called a whumpee (the character being hurt/comforted), the whumper (the character that causes harm and trauma), and the caretaker (the character designated the helping/healing/comforting the whumpee).

Fanlore has a page for whump that explains it in depth, including where it started in fanfiction, examples of whump, and even a list of “popular targets” in different fandoms. (Warning: you might find yourself called out on the popular targets list)

“The term whump (or whumping) generally refers to a form of Hurt/Comfort that is heavy on the hurt and is often found in gen stories. The exact definition varies and has evolved over time. Essentially, whump involves taking a canon character, and placing them in physically painful or psychologically-damaging scenarios. Often this character is a fan favorite…”

To add to that, I think an important detail is the distinction Fanlore makes between hurt/comfort and whump:

“While some communities and fandoms may use whump as a synonym for hurt/comfort, there is still a recognition that whump refers to darker and more extreme scenarios. And there are still whump fics been written that have very little, or no comfort at the end of the story.”

The big appeal of hurt/comfort is getting to both explore the darker sides of pain and then experience the catharsis of being taken care of, of being supported by your loved ones as you recover from the trauma. The character is the proxy for experiencing those highs and lows while you yourself are safe at home.

I personally don’t read much/any whump without some h/c involved, but I’m happy there are stories out there for people who do enjoy it. I’m not here to judge what you like reading or what you do to your characters.

What I want is to express how blindness, my disability, used as a whump prompt personally makes me feel and what message it sends to me, to others, and how that message affects my daily life.

Whump undeniably involves watching a character suffer through something painful and traumatic.

My use of the word “suffer” is what I want you to focus on.

Vision loss can be painful and traumatic. I personally developed an anxiety disorder in response to vision loss. Others experience depression. For some it might result in relapsing into old, maladaptive coping mechanisms like drug use, self harm, or eating disorders.

A big part of my anxiety was how people reacted to my vision loss. It was a cause of their stress. They were worried because they genuinely believed I would never live a happy life without normal vision, and that my life would only be struggle and pain.

I recently saw an old friend who hadn’t heard about my vision loss. The conversation was awkward, but the worst part was how they reacted as though I had experienced an insurmountable tragedy. And even when I assured them I’m happy with my life, they clearly didn’t believe me. They acted like I was just lying or in denial.

I love that people want to empathize with my situation and ask themselves what they would do in my situation, but I hate when the conclusion they come to is something along the lines of “I could never do that, I’d be too miserable thinking about everything I lost, I’d never be able to do anything I enjoyed ever again.” But I did go blind. And I’m not miserable, I’m actually happy with the direction my life is going, and I still enjoy my hobbies, even if I engage with them differently.

I’m not suffering. My life didn’t end with vision loss. It’s not ruined, broken, or worthless.

I read a fanfic that was tagged with whump, blindness, and angst with a happy ending. A general synopsis of the plot: the whumpee had gone blind due to a curse. It was true love’s kiss that broke the curse. Even from the summary I knew it was going to end with whumpee being cured somehow and that I’d leave that fanfic vaguely dissatisfied no matter how good the rest of the fanfic was.

I can say this for the fanfic: the whumpee had already accepted that they would likely be blind for the rest of their life, but everyone around them was treating it as a tragedy that needed to be fixed, working tirelessly for a cure despite the whumpee’s protests that they didn’t have to.

It actually hit home to my personal experience.

I still left it dissatisfied with the ending. I might love curse fics in that fandom, and I love the “true love’s kiss” trope, but it wasn’t enough to distract me from the fact that: an actual person out in the world thought the best happy ending, maybe the only happy ending, would be if the character got their sight back.

(note: I clicked kudos and exited out of the story's page because no fanfic writer deserves unsolicited critique or hate, especially for content I consumed for free and at my own volition.)

Why read a story I knew would disappoint me?

Because blindness representation is so damn rare that I feel like I’m wandering in a desert, dying from thirst and desperate for that oasis. But sometimes that oasis is a mirage and the author is unintentionally telling you that your life is actually awful and you’ll never be fully happy like this. And that is a shit mentality to walk through life with.

I don’t appreciate blindness being a whump plot. I hate it. Hundreds (thousands?) of fanfictions featuring blind characters are about to enter the internet and the overall message is going to be “You poor thing! You must be in so much pain, you must be miserable! Who’s going to save you? Who’s going to comfort you? Wouldn’t it be terrible if there was no one in your life to take care of you? You poor helpless thing!”

And I feel objectified. I feel trivialized. The mirage in the desert is going to become a starch, empty room filled with dozens of water bottles, almost all of them poisoned. My representation is going to hurt me personally, and it’s going to reinforce that idea strangers have about how awful my life must be.

(I returned to school this past month, and every day I’m hesitant to tell someone I’m visually impaired because I don’t want to be treated differently. If I’ve managed to pass as sighted this whole time and then suddenly reveal “oh yeah, I’m visually impaired” I feel this instant silence, this pause of awkwardness as people suddenly question how they’re supposed to treat me. They treated me like a person, and now I’m something strange and unfamiliar.)

I’ve worked so hard to improve representation for blind people, to give internet strangers the exposure to a blind person they need to normalize blindness because I hope that if they’re ever so lucky as to meet a blind person, they’ll treat that person with respect. That hope that another person in the blind community will find a friend they feel comfortable and accepted with. I hope that I’ll meet people who accept my blindness as just another aspect of me (like being bisexual or gender fluid or a writer or a cat lover).

Please don’t turn me and my community into a caricature. Don’t erase everything I’ve worked for with this blog.

To be clear, this is not just me saying "I hate the cure trope" again. This is me saying "the purpose of whump is to painfully hurt your favorite character, and I hate that your idea of pain and suffering is my daily (wonderful) life."

[akaashisupremacy]

Moments of Courage

Summary: Osamu Miya is a difficult ex to have. When your paths cross endlessly, you try to rebuild your relationship. Will there be second chances? Or just more broken hearts?

HQ Masterlist || Multi-fandom Masterlist || Read it on A03

Osamu Miya  x reader  

“Are you leaving this party because of me?”

Osamu calls you out from the tiny hallway of your friend’s get together. After locking eyes with him, you did your best to subtly scamper towards the door.

“You don’t have to go. I can leave if it’s making you uncomfortable.” he assures.

You shake your head, “You can stay. I’m not having that much fun.”

You begin shuffling through the coat rack to look for yours. You’re desperate for anything to cut the time talking to him, talking about him. The only guaranteed way for this to stop is to leave.

“Are you hiding from me?” he asks almost rhetorically. His brows are gently raised.

“Yeah, obviously,” you retort, “I don’t want to be seen by you or with you.”

Osamu Miya is your ex. After over a year of dating, he decided to end things with you in a small cafe far off his onigiri stall.

“I’m too busy,” he claimed, “You deserve someone who could give you more time.”

You reasoned out that you didn’t mind not spending so much time together. His job was time-consuming. You understood that.

But Osamu was unsettled. You didn’t mind cheering him on from the benches waiting for him to finish up work. You liked seeing Osamu do things he was passionate about. And yet he felt unsettled, because he knew this was the type of work you would not engage in.

Osamu pressed on, “I’m sure you’ll find yourself someone more worldly, more sophisticated in the city. I don’t want to prevent you from meeting someone like that.”

Something dropped at the pit of your stomach. Your mouth was ajar. He’s really trying to break up with you. It’s no secret that you preferred the city and Osamu the countryside, but neither of you seemed to mind. You’d both make the time to visit each other. You made it work.

You remember barely touching your drink. Listening to him talk was like having a ton of bricks dropped on your back. The sunlight pouring in from the glass window suddenly felt prickly.

“I just don’t think we’re a good fit.” he swallowed, unable to look you in the eye, “I think someone from the country, someone simpler and more traditional would be better for me.”

You don’t miss the yearning in his voice, the dreaminess for someone who was clearly not you. He’d always tease that you were a true blue big city girl. You liked the tall buildings, the noise and the fancy department stores. You thought it was a point of endearment, but apparently not.

It’s been almost a year since you last saw him. He looks so unaffected it irks you.

“I broke up with you respectfully. Why are you mad?” he scratches his head.

It takes all your self-control to not slap him across the face.

“Because you hurt me! You’ve hurt me so…so…much.” your voice hitches before you can catch it. This is so humiliating. He’s clearly moved on from you.

Tears start pouring down your face. You quickly hide your eyes behind your coat.

“You’d eventually realize that I’m not right for you.” he murmurs, “We’re too different.”

“You don’t get to decide that for me.” you snap, clenching your fists, “So is this is it? To make you feel better you’re going to date a small town girl to solve all your problems.”

“Well, Kita did introduce me to someone lately.” he unironically replies, “She works in her family ryokan (inn) and we work similar hours. I think we’ll understand each other more than we did.”

Your eyes narrow.

“There’s no point staying in a relationship that I can’t make time for. Why can’t you understand that?” he snaps back.

It is one thing to be left for someone else and another for him to dump you just because. Somehow you feel like you lost even if you didn’t even have competition. He simply didn’t want you.

Your face contorts into an angry frown.

You slip on your coat and grab the door. “Man, you are a terrible ex. Do you know how it hurts when you tell me how wrong I was for you?”

When Osamu regains his cool, he tries to reach out to you, “I didn’t mean it that way…I didn’t feel good that I could make time for ‘ya and so I let the relationship go. Because i don’t know…—“

“Well, this is all just theory anyways.” he says, “I haven’t met Kita’s friend yet. We haven’t gone out yet, just the two of us.”

You do a double turn. “What?!?”

“Yeah, we’re working all the time but we haven’t made the time to meet.”

You break into a laugh. He stands stunned and confused.

“You know what? You stay behind. You left the last time. I want to be the one to leave this time.” you sigh, closing the door behind you.

You don’t turn back to see the look on his face.

————————————— Osamu mostly works in the countryside which means that you’d be less likely to run into each other in the city. It’s easier for you to keep your mind off him and focus on your current life.

So when you see him in the corner store in place of a small fried chicken stall you used to frequent, you’re visibly shocked, appalled even.

“What are you doing here?!” you jump back, “What happened to the fried chicken stall that was here?”

Osamu looks left and right, making sure no approaching customers can hear your dialogue.

“I run this stall now. Kawaneshi-san retired. It’s a great location. I’m literally in a crossroad between a shopping district and some schools. The rent isn’t too bad and it’s a very busy location.” he answers in his usual no nonsense tone.

You make a mental list not to pass by here again.

He recognizes the look on your face, “Have I just ruined your usual route for you?”

“I thought you were a country boy.” you avoid answering him.

“Even I need to make a living.” he snorts, carefully arranging umeboshi-flavored onigiri in his display case.

Sure! All of a sudden working in the city becomes important after he breaks up with you!

You roll your eyes and curtly walk away. You got here first. You love this city. You refuse to let some onigiri-making man ruin your everyday route.

The days roll into weeks. You stick to your route and diligently ignore Osamu each time. After a while it stops feeling weird that he’s there. You feel like you’re slowly taking pieces of yourself that he broke.

It feels so good to start to be whole again.

———————————— Your newfound peace with Osamu is interrupted when he calls you out of the blue one evening. He calls to tell you that he’s sick and that he needs help running groceries. The nerve!

“Don’t you have anyone else?” you groan. Hasn’t he made friends with some other shopkeepers?

“I have no one else. There’s only you.” he coughs through his words. He tries to explain that one of his few friends is out on bereavement.

You let it go. He clearly doesn’t have anyone for today.

You find out that Osamu lives in the apartment above his stall. The space is rather small. He shares his home with some of the equipment and supplies from his store.

He must hate it here. Osamu always loved wide open spaces.

You open the fridge to find it totally empty. His sink has a few empty bowls from his earlier rice porridges. You understand his desperation. He had nothing to eat.

Moved by his situation and the little compassion for him that remains in you, you sigh and begin chopping up some vegetables to make a nutritious broth. You add in some mushrooms and root crops. While the soup boils, you prepare rice and some pickles.

The faster he recovers, the less you have to interact with him.

When you bring him a tray of food in his room, he is equal parts surprised and confused.

“You can cook?” he clears his throat.

“No, Osamu.” you roll your eyes, “I eat all my food raw.”

He sits up and sniffs the aroma of your food through his clogged nose. He dips a spoon into the soup to sample his first meal of the day.

“I mean you can cook well, like a proper home cook.” he says, his eyes wide with awe. He quickly takes a few more sips and starts on his rice.

“I’ve never known.” he croaks, turning to you.

“You never asked,” you shrug, “And you like to do the cooking yourself. You probably assumed I can’t cook, because I’m not as passionate about food as you are.”

He quietly eats and looks away to confirm the truth in your statement.

You sigh and take a nearby basin with some towels in it. “I’ll leave after I bring the basin back.”

——————————————- Something changes in your relationship with Osamu after that incident. He starts to greet you when you walk by and sometimes offers you onigiri from his store.

You always insist on paying. He doesn’t always take it.

“You’re here to make a living.” you say as you push money into his hands.

In between these exchanges you start to ask about each other again. How are you doing? Was today busy? Stuff like that.

Slowly and surely, you two were rebuilding your relationship ground up. But it was tough. Neither of you went beyond these interactions. Maybe things are just meant to stay that way.

One late evening, the last customer for the day disappears out of Osamu’s line of sight when he heads into the back to start cleaning up. He’s about to start pulling down the rafters when you suddenly show up at his counter.

His face expresses his surprise.

“If it’s too late, I can just go.” you gesture sheepishly.

He’s always surprised when you come here on your own volition.

“It’s not,” he denies, “I was closing up too early anyways.”

You pick out your usual onigiri flavors and quickly pay up. As soon as you turn your back, Osamu stammers at you.

“I-I’m cooking up some stuff at the back. Do you want to stay and eat? Think of it as a return favor for the other week.” he refers to the episode of his sick day.

You’re caught off guard but you slowly nod your head to agree. You hadn’t had Osamu’s cooking in a while and it was getting quite late. He opens the door for you and you follow him towards the back of his shop.

In a messy plastic table, you see an array of salads and pickles with different kinds of miso soup laid out. You feel almost intrusive, even more than last week.

You set the table. Osamu fetches hot rice.

It feels unnecessary for you to be here especially if he is with someone else. You do your best to keep your mouth shut. This is a friendly return of favor.

Osamu notices how unusually quiet you are. He chats you up about work. He tries his best to be animated and show interest in your latest project. He asks about your coworkers and your work environment. Were you having fun? Do you get to eat on time?

For dessert, he brings out mochi wrapped in leaves.

“It’s made by the girl I was telling you about.” he remarks, while clearing the dishes.

“Oh,” your heart sinks. You get up and leave, feeling humiliated by your naivety. Of course he’s with her. You feel stupid for even hoping.

You’re about to walk out when he comes back in. “Apparently, she’s been secretly in a relationship with another chef in her family inn. They recently got married and are hoping to start a family soon. She sent these down to inform me. I suppose that solves the problem of having to see someone outside of work—”

He sees you standing. Confusion runs through his expression.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“Just stretching…” you lie.

You want to shoot yourself in the foot in embarrassment.

When realization dawns on him, Osamu looks crestfallen. Any energy left in his body abandons him. He sighs, resigned.

“It’s ok if you want to go,” he nods, “Or if I’m making you uncomfortable.”

He bites his lip and looks down on his shoes. The room is still and pregnant with silence.

“I really am just stretching. My hip feels wonky from sitting all day.” you insist with some renewed energy. You grab hold of the pot on the table. “Also, can we get some more hot water? Tea would be nice with the mochi and it’s kind of gone cold.”

He offers to make another pot, relief evident on his face.

“I’ll go heat up the water.” he walks to the kettle, “Are you sure you want dessert?”

You sit back down.

“Yeah, I want to stay.” you murmur. For once you don’t go running to the door.

He glances at you, content, a small smile creeping on his face. ——————————————————

Atsumu, Osamu’s twin brother, always finds himself in his brother’s kitchen every time he visits. He doesn’t mind too much though. It gives them something to do when they catch up.

“Samu, you can’t still be moping around your ex!” Atsumu exclaims. He’s washing Osamu’s dishes as his brother prepares for their meal.

“I’m not ready to get back out there.” Osamu waves dismissively.

Atsumu flicks some water his way. “You’re just not open to seeing someone else.”

His words clearly prick Osamu who throws flour into his face. Atsumu dodges right on time and flicks some flour right back.

Some flour grazes Osamu’s sleeve. He sighs and dusts himself.

“It’s tough, because I’m working all the time. This job doesn’t pay too much and it’s not glamorous. Who’d wanna date someone like me?” he murmurs.

“That’s why you gotta date around to find out!” Atsumu emphasizes, “Maybe you’ll even find someone who might help you with your business when you get married.”

Osamu obstinately shakes his head. “It’s not as easy as you think.”

Atsumu dries his hand and carefully observes his brother. He puts his towel down onto the kitchen counter and raises his brow, “Or maybe I should just give you advice on getting back together.’

As if right on cue, Osamu slams his hand down onto the counter, “I hate that we still haven’t gotten back together. This is killing me!”

Atsumu chuckles in satisfaction. He’s hit the nail right on the head.

“Why has nothing happened yet? I’m already in the city!” Osamu continues on, “They can cook too! Did you know that?! I wish we can skip to the part where we can settle down.”

He vigorously gestures in frustration.

“I cannot! I just cannot move on until I know I’ve given everything to make this work and yet every time I see them all I do is offer them food!”

Atsumu places his hand on his brother’s shoulder, “You need to be more strategic about it. Here’s what you need to do…”

———————————————————————————

Osamu takes a deep breath before knocking at your door. He holds a bag of onigiri in one hand and whatever courage he has in another.

One knock, then another. He hasn’t been this nervous in a long while.

When you open the door, his ear picks up on a male voice inside your house. Combined with your expression, he realizes that he’s come at an inconvenient time.

“I brought you something.” he tries to smile despite the sweat pooling, “I made you lunch. I just wanted to make sure you were eating. We don’t have to talk. I just wanted to give this to you.”

He tries to look past your shoulder, attempting to glimpse at your guests.

“Are you seeing someone else by any chance?” he blurts out, “I want to clarify before I make any more free deliveries.”

You frown. “That’s none of your business, Osamu. You should leave.”

Your frankness pierces something within him. He hadn’t expected to be rejected so quickly.

Osamu’s eyes widen and his mouth drops. He quickly gathers himself before he gets disheartened.

“I want you to give me a second chance. You loved me so deeply. Maybe you can find love in me again.” he says quietly.

“I thought I was too much of a city girl for you,” you retort, despite lacking an edge in your voice. You notice his hands tightly clutching the plastic bag.

The noise at the back seems to melt away. It’s like you’re back in that party, standing too close to each other near the coat rack and the door.

“Maybe you’re not.” his shoulders gracefully go up and down.

You shook your head wryly, “Osamu, I haven’t changed. I like my job and the city. I’m not the life and business partner that you’re looking for. I’m just a customer and we should keep it that way.”

“I can stop if you like.” he offers meekly, putting his hands behind his back.

“Yeah, you should. You’ve hurt me so much.” you cover your mouth with your hands while you try not to sob, “There’s nothing to go back to.”

“I’m sorry I ended things the way I did.” he looks away, “Seeing you walk by me every day feels like penitence…“

You close the door before he says anymore.

Osamu gazes longingly at the door. It’s only now that the full weight of losing you sinks in.

—————————————— “How’d it go?” Atsumu calls to check on Osamu.

Osamu sucks in his breath, his palm pressed on his temple. Atsumu braces himself, this doesn’t sound good.

“They had someone else over.” Osamu is seething in frustration and angry tears.

“Calm down. Were they alone? Or was it a friend group?” Atsumu ’s mind races. He sifts through the situation in an attempt to placate his brother.

“Yeah? No? I don’t know.” Osamu snaps, “They told me she didn’t want to talk about it. Your advice sucks!”

Osamu walks most of the way home. When he catches sight of his store, he curses. He had left his damn bike at your apartment complex! The universe is not giving him any breaks today.

He sighs and continues towards his store. He had a friend watch it while he was away. He’ll have to come pick up after he closes the store.

Throughout the rest of the day, he tries to push you out of his mind. By the time he closes the store, he is bursting at the seams with anticipation to make his way back to your apartment.

Before he sets off, he sees your figure wheeling his bike towards him.

“You left your bike.” you breathe out. You fish something out of your pocket and toss him the key to his bike lock, “You left this in your lock too.”

“Every time you see me, I just look dumber and dumber.” he sighs in exasperation.

You can’t help but burst into laughter at his candidness. He perks up a bit. He hasn’t made you laugh in a while. Of course he’d rather have you laugh with him than at him. Still, this was a start right?

"Did Atsumu put you up to this?" you chuckle, handing the bike over.

“Yeah, how did you know?” he asks dumbfounded.

“I just do.” you scoff, “It’s not like you to show up on people’s doors.”

He sheepishly rubs the back of his neck, “Sorry about that. It won’t happen again. It was a moment of weakness.”

Your eyes lower, framing the sad expression that sets into your face, “Yeah, it better not. I’ve moved on.”

You turn around to walk away. In a brief moment of courage, he cups his hands around his mouth.

“I’m not ready to move on from you and if you ever change your mind, you know where to find me.” he calls out.

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Taglist: @itstheee-ha-chan @kaizumi @holaaaf @glxar​

Comment or message to be added to the taglist! I’m definitely making a part 2!

[beckface]

make a big ramble post about becky/wordgirl and how much you love her <3

hoooo boy lets go. The people are kind to me :D

Long rant below the break!

Okay like actually she is one of my absolute favorite kids show protagonists out there. I’ve talked about this before but Becky is SUCH a good character to base an educational superhero show around, the creators KNEW what they were doing.

First off I unironically find her one of the funniest characters in the show. Don’t get me wrong the writing for the villains is incredible (ftr I think Granny May is absolutely hilarious and we don’t acknowledge her enough) but the sheer concept of the main character of an educational show being an absolute know-it-all brat like a fourth of the time feels like something that should be in one of those kids-show parody videos.

Imagine if during an episode of a different show aimed at a similar age group was like “Hey kids! Where is the beach?” and the character was about to point at the beach to teach the lesson or whatever and Dora the explorer pops up out of goddamn NOWHERE to be like “UM ACTUALLY It’s right there! I can’t believe you didn’t see that, thank god I was here to help you ^-^” and then she punches them in the face

Becky lowkey having anger and ego issues too is just. So wonderful. I have a bias towards otherwise good characters with #problems and Becky is just the perfect example of that. I really like how it’s not treated like a comedy prop only though. The show portrays that Becky is allowed to be angry and that it’s normal and natural for her to react to things with anger, and it shows that she has every right to be confident and proud of herself, but if she lets it get the better of her and starts treating others badly the show condemns her immediately, and I think that’s a great lesson for kids to see. It shows the nuance of emotions and the appropriate ways of expressing them without turning the kids cartoon into a complicated, unfun mess.

Also I think tobecky is really cute, but I think that the way it is handled in canon was exactly how it needed to be handled and is a great subversion of the normal trope. There's more than enough media where the girl finally sees the good in the boy who does the bare minimum for her and loves him, or where the responsibility falls on the girl character to “fix” the guy character and it’s treated as incredibly romantic, and Wordgirl (the show) just actively making fun of Tobey trying to get WG to be that for him is great. It’s, again, a very important lesson for kids. 

I like how Becky isn’t mean to Tobey though (we’ll get to miss power in a minute) but she’s not wholesome uwu nice to him, she acts like a kid. They have dynamic that many kids that age have, they get into bantering, sometimes they take it too far because they’re kids, at the end of the day though watching them interact, whether at school or at a battle, feels like watching two hothead have a playdate (Go Gadget Go is the exception to this, we all acknowledged that was weird and too far but we can chalk it up to Tobey being 10 and not fully understanding how bad it was)

Keep making tobecky fan content though pls I eat that shit up like candy

Okay I went on to talking about the actual show BACK TO BECKY SPECIFICALLY

It’s kinda sad how easily the villains, especially the adult villains, can just trick her into letting her guard down. Like she has this very clearly instilled respect for just adults, which is understandable of course she’s 10, but it gets her in trouble a lot. It’s never that big of a deal though I just wanted to make a note of it. And anyways ABOUT THAT-

I swear I won’t talk about it for too long just hear me out okay (if you’re following me we both know damn well this is why you followed me so you legally have to stay for this part)

Her relationship with DTB grabbed me and like at least a quarter of the fandom by the face and told us we had daddy issues, the whole Boxlietner thing is :( but I think it’s very sweet how parts of their relationship remained when he transformed. They’re just on the same mental level throughout the show. Other word-smart villains like Tobey she just doesn’t seem to click with as much, and I think while a big reason is because her and TB used to be friends, I also think that they just. Mesh well. Their personalities balance each other nicely, and maybe i’m just absolutely fucking bonkers but WG like imitates his posture and shit a lot of times whenever they’re in a scene together I just think thats cute. Every time I think i’m exaggerating how much of a gay brooklyn dad he is I see another clip of him parenting WG or his henchmen. Like this man oh my god. DTB is the most fruitcake ever

Also him and a couple other villains are the closest thing she has to parents when she’s being wordgirl, which is literally half of her life : D pain. No wonder that's who she reaches out to when she can’t talk to Sally and Tim

ALso also headcanon that she got her fear of spiders from Steven because of that one spider episode where they were both scared of spiders.

Becky being OBSESSED with pretty princess is wonderful and every time something interrupts her show the universe should compensate her with 1000 dollars.

She’s just absolutely adorable. She reminds me so much of the kids I work with at summer camp and it makes me happy. Witty little superhero pop off queen.

The way she’s comically horrible at art and anything related to art is a funny gag and her FINALLY understanding art and making a good painting in the second to last episode just because she realized that the reason Becky loves Violet’s art so much isn’t because it’s good, but because it’s Violet is the cutest thing in the world I am holding onto these two like they’re my children

And then rhyme and reason happens because this show is cruel

Also Becky should go apeshit. I'm embarrassed to say that during the entirety of Miss Power I was like “yessss be horrible yesss” just because I personally need all of my favorite characters to

a) suffer 

b) do awful things

c) both

More fanfics where she either goes evil or goes vigilante please idc if it’s in character or not. My fatal flaw is being obsessed with trying to write in character to the point where I avoid things that could be fun, don’t be me kids. Make wordgirl evil just because.

I might add on to this later but it’s already over two pages anyways I love becky wordgirl botsford